What if the pattern is trying to tell you something?
Not “everything is your fault.” Not “everyone else is the problem.” A clearer look at expectations, choices, communication, and what keeps repeating.
Seven better questions
Each will include an optional context box. You can skip anything, and missing answers will never be turned into invented certainty.
- What outcome are you hoping for, and what evidence would show it is happening?
- What pattern keeps repeating across different people or situations?
- What do you consistently choose, tolerate, avoid, or postpone?
- What have partners or trusted people told you that you tend to dismiss?
- Which expectations are essential values, and which are preferences or status signals?
- What have you directly communicated, and what have you expected another person to infer?
- Is there pressure, fear, coercion, control, or abuse that makes ordinary mutual-responsibility framing unsafe?
Private-pilot access
Confirm you are 18 or over to begin. No account is needed, and your answers stay in this browser.
Confirm you are 18 or overConcept draftStructure not yet tested. What that means here.
None established for the items. The best-fitting published scales grant use in clinical and research settings and are silent on commercial use, so they are unavailable pending a written answer from the rights holder.
Items are written for this site, verified 2026-09-12.
What this cannot tell you
- A relationship quality score or population comparison
- A verdict on whether a relationship is healthy, viable or doomed
- A prediction about a partner's behaviour
Your answers here concern sex life and are treated as special category information: they are stored only with your explicit consent, kept separable from the rest of your account, and can be withdrawn.